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I do my best to listen when I hear the universe speaking to me. For one, I know I was put on this earth to teach and inspire. One of those things is to teach people how to love themselves. And I'll be honest- when I went into business for myself and followed my intuition that told me to teach about self-love, I had this belief that self-love is a hard sell. In the beginning I had this made up notion that people only wanted solutions to 3 things:
How to be thin.
How to find their soul mates.
How to have more money.
Self love didn't fit anywhere into that equation for people looking for what made them happy. Unless I was selling those three things, I was doomed as an entrepreneur.
And the thing is after a few years I've learned that that simply isn't true. I've realized at the end of the day, all humans want the same thing: To be loved and to be happy. And the ironic thing is what do they THINK they'll get from being thin, finding their soul mate, and having more money?
Yep. Love and happiness.
Now, if you're in a place where you think you want those 3 things I mentioned above, as I always say, you're exactly where you need to be. That's perfect for you.
But, I will tell you this:
Self-love is THE most important thing you need in order to have ANYTHING you want, really make you happy, loved, and fulfilled. Without self-love you will constantly be wondering what is wrong with you, why things “never work out” and why you aren't getting what you want. Self-love is the critical foundation in your happiness.
Lately I've received a few emails from women asking me more about self-love. They say things like, “I hear you talk about self love a lot, and I'm not sure I have it. How do you get it?” or, “I have a great life, but I want more. I think lack of self-love is stopping me and I've never even thought about it!”
I distinctly remember the first person that told me about self-love. She was a counselor at my college (I was 30 at the time) and I was going through my divorce. She kept saying that no matter what happens, I need to love myself and that self love was so important. It was like she was speaking a foreign language.
Many years and a ton of MAJOR breakthroughs later, I finally can speak her language. And she was so very right. So, this post is dedicated to what self-love actually is. I've compiled a list for you.
Self love is about:
- Defining what makes you happy and fulfilled.
- Going after those things with no apologies to anyone.
- Embracing exactly who you are.
- Owning your story no matter what it looks like.
- Forgiving yourself for past mistakes and looking for what you learned and how it's made you a better person.
- Living your life according to your own personal values. Honoring each of them.
- Accepting that you are deserving of everything you want.
- Loving every part of you, including your physical body.
- Acknowledging your “humanness”. And accepting setbacks and moving forward instead of being taken away with it.
- Managing that inner-critic.
- Saying no even when it's hard.
- Letting go of things that aren't serving you, including people.
- Dreaming and fantasizing about your dream life.
- Taking inspired action.
- Taking breaks.
- Feeling your feelings, instead of numbing them.
- Asking the right people for support and help.
- Taking risks.
- Surrendering to what is and letting go of control when necessary.
- Failing with grace.
- Being willing to be messy and imperfect. Even in front of others.
- Laughing at ourselves when it feels right.
- Listening to our inner-voice of wisdom.
- Breaking free from the box.
- Not being fearful of what other people think of self-love.