Yesterday I wrote a post, “25 Acts of Self-Love”. After receiving a few emails from you, my readers asking me what exactly self love is, and how to get it, I knew I had to write these posts.
Self-love has nothing to do with getting a massage or a mani-pedi. Self-love is a radical act of self-acceptance and deep, inner-work. It's a practice. Something that cannot be bought with money. It's something that takes time and patience.
So, why is this so important? Without it, you'll probably be in a place where you keep thinking, “What is wrong with me?” or, “Why do things always fall apart?” or, “When will I finally be happy?” or, “What am I doing wrong?”
Or maybe you just can't put your finger on what's missing in your life. You might be a high-achieving, super smarty-pants type of lady where everything looks put together on the outside. But, inside, it's a whole different story.
I know, because I've been there. And self-love was the answer. Self-love changed everything. And continues to do so.
Here are 5 things you can do to achieve self-love.
1. Get real with where you are. Admit that shit that you've been in denial about. Maybe your marriage is falling apart. Maybe you drink too much. Maybe your job is sucking the life and soul out of you but you're afraid to leave because the money is good. Whatever it is, admitting will bring you relief.
2. Believe that you are not your past. Since you're obviously not there anymore, stop beating yourself up for decisions you made way-back-when. You are worthy of your own forgiveness.
3. Make peace with who you are. Do you have “disorders”? Great, so do I and millions and millions of others. (I hate to break it to you, but you're not one-of-a-kind in respect to that.) You are who you are whether that's single, overweight, a struggling addict, unemployed, whatever. I'm all for changing where you are if you don't like it, but trust me when I tell you making peace with it will change your attitude immensely. And remember- you are not broken. You are complete and whole, as you are.
4. Find things to love about yourself as you are right now. There is nothing vain or conceited about this. You were made beautiful and perfect. If you don't believe that, somewhere in your head your inner-critic has convinced you otherwise. Start by thinking of the things other people love about you. Write down at least 5 things.
5. Learn to manage your inner-critic. That voice in your head that tells you that you aren't good enough, keeps you in limbo and compares you to everyone else is a piece of shit liar. Your true self, your true inner-voice knows better. That voice or spirit wants you to be happy. It loves you and all you have to do is learn to listen.
I'd love to hear what either you're still struggling with in regards to self-love or what is something you do to actively practice self-love.
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