Preface: In today's archived post from 2010, I chuckled when I read it and decided to share it again. This was written right when I started my business and this is the real-life drama of it all (it wasn't really drama– I just made it that way). I hope you enjoy…
You have no idea how hard it was for me to type the title of this post. And I know I already recently wrote a post about how I was feeling like the worst mother in the world, and here I go again. I make no apologies; you're about to get an earful. Er… headful.
Before I had kids, I thought being a stay-at-home-mom would be as beautiful and special as unicorns farting rainbows.
Then I became a mother.
As I type this the time reads 10:14 am, but it’s one of those days where it feels like 5 pm. One of those weeks where the nursling has a cold, and wants to be either in my arms or nursing and the 3 year old has adamantly decided he is not going to poop in his potty. And that’s just an appetizer. The list goes on and on.
Then there’s the business part. Oh yeah, that business that I thought would be so fun and easy to start. As I watch others do the same thing that either have no kids or have older kids get to spend the whole day doing what they love, I spend my days changing diapers, cleaning up messes, breaking up fights, wiping noses, getting snacks, drinks, cleaning up more messes, coloring, getting them dressed, and did I mention cleaning up messes?
And by the way- this isn’t one of those posts where I write and then at the end: viola! Life lesson message like on the Berenstien Bears. Nope.
I get that the Universe will keep giving me what I put out. You know, that good ol’ Law of Attraction thing. So, me bitching and complaining right now is sure to give me an afternoon where my son comes running in the house to tell me he shit his pants and my daughter will give me nothing but her own bullshit, however, I’d like to give the Universe a big FUCK YOU right now. Uh huh, I said it.
The Universe has basically said this to me:
That’s really funny and cute that you thought you could start a business with 2 very small children. Hi-larious in fact. No work during the day (did you think you could? HAHAH!) and P.S. the 3 year old will consistently get up at 5:30 am, you need to make dinner for everyone by 5:30 pm, kids to bed by 7:30 and THEN you can sit down to work. What do you mean you’re tired? Deal with it. You’re “Ms. Kick-Ass” remember?? And another P.S. Don’t forget to have sex with your husband.
You are an asshole. I want my money back, full refund on what I signed up for. Because this surely isn’t it.
Then my Gremlin chimes in:
Excuse me? Don't you remember that episode of Oprah- that mom who hated staying home with her kids who spent a day with the mom who was so severely burned she couldn't even hug her kids? You should be ashamed of yourself. People are going to think you are terrible. Wait- they already do. Your clients will fire you. You lose.
I love staying home with my kids, I really do. But we all have bad days that turn into bad weeks (this is Mama Berenstien Bear talking. I guess there is a lesson). And if nobody talks about it, then I guess we all stand around smiling saying through clenched teeth, “Is anybody going to admit it? Am I the only one?”
I hold my breath as I hit the “publish” button. 3……2……1…..go