Today I’ve got a truly kick ass and awesome show for you with my feisty friend Jenny Perry, author of Sexpot with Stretch Marks. Not only is she an amazing writer, she’s also a vivacious mother of 5 on the Jersey shore. On episode 43 we talk about what it means to be fulfilled versus happy, the power of your attention and why you should become your own BFF.
On the topic of fulfillment versus happiness, Jenny and I both agree they are two different states. Happiness is a fleeting emotion, often based on something external (looks, income, achievements, etc) or some sort of criteria we’ve created for ourselves. But fulfillment is a state of mind, something you feel deep in your soul and a space you can be in no matter what is happening around you.
And Jenny found her way down the path to fulfillment when she was in her mid-20s, overweight and feeling miserable. She was smoking, eating a metric shit-ton of sugar and trying so hard to fit some “Mom mold” she had created. She felt if she could fit that mold then she would be a good mom, and she could be happy.
We also talk about:
- Why kids are such great checks for our egos.
- What can you do if you’re having a hard time creating a positive mindset?
- How to get out of a negative space, quickly.
- The first step to changing your life: what is it?
- What’s the best thing you can for yourself as a mom?
- And much more!
Jenny thought happiness was in weight loss, until a friend offered to train her and she lost her extra pounds. She suddenly had a new identity, one that didn’t fit with her old beliefs and she had to review who she really was. She began reading every personal development book she could find as she explored her own mindset and her own thoughts.
There was one key concept that really hit home for her: the observer concept. This is the idea that we are not our thoughts and we can observe ourselves and notice what we do, what we think and what we say without becoming attached to any of it. Once she realized she wasn’t her negative thoughts she understood she could change them, she had the power to shift her thoughts, her mindset and her life.
Going hand in hand with that is the attention/intention idea, something we’ve talked about before on this show. Jenny and I both believe that where we focus our attention is where our intention goes. So if we’re constantly thinking negative thoughts we’re intending to create more negative experiences. Have you ever noticed people responding negatively to you out in public when you’re having a bad day or responding positively when you’re having a good day? That’s the attention and intention idea at work.
On this show Jenny tells us it’s important to notice these experiences and then shift how we’re thinking if we don’t like our external world. Rather than think we need to tell ourselves positive affirmations every day right off the bat, she says we can start by shifting into neutral.
So if telling yourself you’re an amazing mom is just going to make you roll your eyes than don’t do it! Instead tell yourself you’re doing the best you can and work your way up to positive self-talk. Eventually you’ll reach a point where you can and will be talking to yourself the way you would talk to your child, or someone else you love dearly or even your dog.
As you work your way up the positive mindset ladder you’ll become your own best friend. Jenny and I both concur this is one of the most important things any of us can do in our lifetimes. You’re in it for the long haul with yourself so you might as well make the most of it!
And the best way to do that is to forgive yourself, forgive yourself for the past and continue to forgive yourself as you screw up in the future. You’re only human and you’re bound to make mistakes. When you’re your own BFF you forgive yourself and you speak to yourself with kindness.
There is plenty more on this episode with Jenny, she’s a wealth of information, inspiration and enthusiasm. We’ll also give you the details on how to enter for a chance to win one of two free copies of her book, so have a listen to episode 43 of the Your Kick-Ass Life Podcast with Jenny Perry for the full scoop!
Jenny G. Perry is author of Sexpot with Stretch Marks. She's a feisty married mother of five happily residing at the Jersey Shore. She loves to blog on social media about her life’s journey in a fun and spiritual way. She has a passion for life and a bold voice which preaches self-love daily. She loves to give author talks to cheer on her fellow writers and to tell everyone to go after their dreams. She’s been featured as a blogger on sites like huffingtonpost.com and elephantjournal.com.
Calling herself a silly-sassy-spiritual-sexpot, she aims to uplift, empower and inspire on her Facebook page: Peace Love Joy Sparkles.