Episode 408: Owning Your Power and Your Voice with Angela Chee - Your Kick-Ass Life

PODCAST & BLOG

PODCAST & BLOG

Today’s episode closes out the eight-episode series where I speak with women making noise in their lives. My final guest is Angela Chee, who joined me to talk about stepping into your power, owning your voice, and breaking through personal and professional barriers. 

Angela is media/communication coach, keynote speaker/emcee, creator of  YOU, Amplified!®, and host of “The Power Of The Only” podcast. A former TV news anchor and reporter with more than 20 years of media experience, she now works with visionary leaders, executives, and entrepreneurs who are ready to own their power and their voice and amplify their message and mission through speaking, video, and media.

Remember – all eight episodes are available in both audio and video format. To watch today’s interview and/or the previously aired episodes, you can find them on YouTube. I really hope you enjoyed this series as much as I did create it for you!

In this episode you’ll hear:

  • What power means to Angela as a woman “Power is about owning all parts of you.”  (9:32)
  • The biggest obstacle women face when they are stepping into their power. (11:19)
  • Angela shares her experience in the power of being the only and the barriers she broke through in her career. (23:16)
  • The importance of owning your voice. (30:00)
  • How to speak up at work: Ask, “What value can I provide at this moment?” Then let the words come out. (36:04)
  • Money is an expression of owning your voice and power. We talk about money and negotiating pay or raising rates. (43:34)

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Watch this episode on YouTube! https://youtu.be/5qmY1xpSMIA
The Make Some Noise Book Club has started, and you can still join us! All you need is the book. For purchasing details or to claim your bonuses visit: AndreaOwen.com/noise
Need a speaker for your next event? Book Andrea! Visit AndreaOwen.com/Speaking for keynote details and contact information.
Angela’s website
Angela on Instagram
Angela on Facebook

MSN is supported by:
Better Help – Click here and use code kickass to get 10% off your first month.
Banyan Botanicals – Visit BanyanBotanicals.com/noise to get 20% off your first purchase.

Find a complete list of our sponsors and their offerings visit andreaowen.com/sponsors. Thank you for your support!

Angela Chee is media/communication coach, keynote speaker/emcee, creator of  YOU, Amplified!®, and host of “The Power Of The Only” podcast. A former TV news anchor and reporter with more than 20 years of media experience, she now works with visionary leaders, executives, and entrepreneurs who are ready to own their power and their voice and amplify their message and mission through speaking, video, and media. Through one on one coaching, group workshops and online programs she helps her clients be clear, confident and connected, and ready for any opportunity on-camera and off. Her mission is to help people break through their barriers, step into their leadership and live their legacy.

Angela has worked in top TV markets from KCBS/KCAL-TV and KNBC-TV in Los Angeles to Fox 6 and KNSD-TV in San Diego. She has hosted shows for E! Entertainment, HGTV (Home and Garden Television) and helped launch Entertainment Tonight China. She was the featured media mentor/expert on Lifetime’s “The Pop Game” and has appeared as an expert on a variety of local and national shows including The Today Show, The List, Right This Minute and more.  Angela has also made appearances in the film Blades of Glory and TV shows from No Ordinary Family to Heroes.

Her speaking career started at 15, when she was the first Asian American woman to win the title of “Miss California National Teen-Ager.” Now Angela presents inspirational and transformative keynotes and corporate trainings for Fortune 500 companies, universities, and professional associations on topics related to leadership, communication, women’s empowerment, diversity and media. She also serves on the Media Advisory Board of the Asian Culture and Media Alliance and was the founder of The Zen Mom®, an inspirational and informative website for moms.

Born on the East Coast and raised in Southern California by immigrant Chinese parents, she also speaks Mandarin Chinese. She is a mother of two and a healthy foodie, who loves yoga, quotes and all things inspirational. You can find her @AngelaCheeTV on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and at www.AngelaChee.com .

Right-click to download the .mp3

 


SHOW TRANSCRIPT

Angela 00:00
Power to me is really about owning all parts of you. It's not power over someone. It's really standing in your own power, right? It's knowing who you are, what you stand for, and how you want to show up in the world. And that's why I created you amplified when people asked me, you know, speech coaching or whatever. And I said, no, really owning your power is knowing all parts of you, and not being afraid to take up space. And to do it with certainty.

Andrea 00:26
You're listening to Make Some Noise Podcast episode 408 with guest Angela Chee.

Welcome to Make Some Noise Podcast, your guide for strategies, tools and insight to empower yourself. I'm your host, Andrea Owen, global speaker, entrepreneur, life coach since 2007, and author of three books that have been translated into 18 languages and are available in 22 countries. Each week, I'll bring you a guest or lesson that will help you maximize unshakable confidence, master resilience and make some noise in your life. Are you ready? Let's go.

Hello there, everyone. Welcome to another episode of the podcast. I am so glad that you are here. This is the third time I have tried to record this introduction for you. I keep getting tongue tied and I think I need to just slow down. I get so excited. When I come on here to do these introductions. I'm just excited that you're here qnd glad that there are so many women who are embracing personal development and are on the path to living their best life. And this closes out, today's episode closes out the Make Some Noise series that I was doing where I hand selected several women to come on and talk specifically about confidence and how that relates to a lot of the topics in my book. Angela Chee is here. I'm going to tell you a little bit about her in just a minute. But first I wanted to ask you if you could please leave a review for Make Some Noise, especially if you bought it from Amazon. It's like a verified purchase type of review. And I think they're more likely to show up. Or if you purchase it from Audible. Same thing, and if you didn't purchase it from either of those places. Another great place to do it is Goodreads. If you use the app, obviously, and I love Goodreads. You can follow me over there you can see the copious amounts of fiction. If you like thrillers, if you like chicklit, which I love. And yeah, you'll see all of the books that I've read over the last few years on Goodreads.

And the other thing I wanted to tell you in this intro is to congratulate the winners of the sharing contest. It actually ended a couple of weeks ago and I wanted to congratulate the following people. Crystal Kordalchuk, I hope I pronounced your last name correctly. Tanya Ann and Stacey Price, Katie Turner, Christina Lynne, Colleen McSpirit, Robin Mrnak, Karley Stephenson, Jenae Anderson and Tracie Cornell. These women were randomly selected, and one, signed copies of my books, Amazon gift card, candles, journals, all kinds of fun things. Thank you so much to all of you who participated in that sharing contest. The kind of big push is has kind of come and gone. But I just I'm so grateful for your support, whether you're leaving a review on any of those places that I mentioned, or participated in the sharing contest, or even, actually, this is the last thing I wanted to mention. Participating in the free book club that's going on right now. It's not too late to join. When this episode comes out, we'll be officially starting on chapter two. But you can for sure come and catch up. Go to AndreaOwen.com/ MSN to sign up all you need is a copy of the book doesn't matter which format.

And I want to tell you this quick thing, which was so interesting. So last week, I posted something on the TikTok. And there was this trend happening where you just sort of stare at the camera and it slows zooms out and you put text on the screen and you type something that people can relate to, maybe something that's happened in your life. And I so I did that and I typed out when you realize you've spent your whole life being accommodating towards others at your own expense in order to avoid making others uncomfortable. And then in the next few moments I said, and then you realize you don't know what you want in your life. And well that baby went viral and I you know I didn't even speak a word at all in that video was all text on the screen like it was like a 10 second video. It's really interesting. What takes off on TikTok, and what doesn't. But there are hundreds of comments from women who are like millennial Gen X baby boomer age and saying me too, oh my gosh, this was me or this was me a few years ago, I'm on the road in therapy to change this, I started setting boundaries, but a lot of hands raised. And actually, a lot of people came to the book club because they didn't know who I was before that. So they grabbed a copy of the book and are now in the book club. And I wanted to mention that because what fascinates me about that is the amount of people that could relate. I mean, it doesn't surprise me. In a way, it's infuriating as someone who is actively trying to push back on the culture that makes us feel this way and has us wake up one day and realize, shit, I have been living my life for everyone else. I've been running around like crazy putting, making everyone else a priority, putting myself last. And you kind of pick your head up and look around. And for some people it's, they go through a major life transition, empty nesters divorce, changing career, turning 40, turning 50, turning 60. And then realize, I don't know what I want.
And I want to mention too, there's this space of grief, or frustration. There's an emotional place that happens there. And it's again, it's the point of no return that I talk about all the time, that place of realizing something big a behavior that you've been doing a belief that you've been holding on to and then kind of feeling stuck as to oh my gosh, what's next and not knowing what's next. Or knowing what's next, what you know, what are the solutions, and being sometimes afraid, sometimes having trepidation about moving forward to try to move away from that place. And I always want to acknowledge that space because it can feel overwhelming and confusing. And I think the vast majority of us have been there. I've certainly been there more than once. For sure. I think it's part of the process. It's part of the process.

Anyway, before I keep talking, keep talking and make this a solo episode. Let me tell you a little bit about our guest today. Angela Chee is a media communication coach, keynote speaker and emcee and the creator of You Amplified and host of The Power of the Only Podcast. A former TV news anchor and reporter with more than 20 years of media experience by the way, she was a on the news in my hometown in San Diego. She now works with visionary leaders, executives and entrepreneurs who are ready to own their power and their voice and amplify their message and mission through speaking video and media. Her speaking career started at age 15 when she was the first Asian American woman to win the title of Miss California National Teenager. Now Angela presents inspirational and transformative keynotes and corporate trainings for Fortune 500 companies, universities and professional associations on topics related to leadership, communication, women's empowerment, diversity and media. So without further ado, here is Angela.
Angela, welcome to the show.
Angela 08:37
Oh, I'm so excited.

Andrea 08:38
We've made it. Yes. There's some technical difficulties last time, but I'm so glad that we are here and your microphone is so cute. For anyone that's just listening to this via audio, go check out the video because your microphone matches your outfit, which is super cute. And that also matches my book. So.

Angela 08:54
I love it. I love hot pink, and I don't color coordinate all the time. But this is my color. So I found this really great, great cover.

Andrea 09:01
I thought of you when we picked the the color. It's such a great color. I think it's a power color. Some people think it's you know for tweens, but I'm like nonsense. Oh, yeah, I love it. Okay, I want to kick things off with a bang and ask you about power because this is something that you work on with people. And what I'm most curious about is you telling me and the listeners is what is power mean to you as a woman?

Angela 09:32
Power to me is really about owning all parts of you. It's not power over someone. It's really standing in your own power, right? It's knowing who you are, what you stand for, and how you want to show up in the world. And that's why I created You Amplified when people ask me, you know, speech coaching or whatever. And I said no, really owning your power is knowing all parts of you and not being afraid to take up space. And to do it with certainty.

Andrea 09:55
Have you always been like this as a child, like were your parents you know, constantly trying to kind of rein you in, or or Did something happen in your life that made you, you know, kind of tap into your power? What does that look like?

Angela 10:07
And I think that's what's so special, right? It's not about power that like, oh, we were just born this way. It's kind of how do we tap into our own power? So no, you know, I grew up, I'm Chinese American typical immigrant story. You know, my parents immigrated here in the 70s. And, you know, I was always taught to not rock the boat, to play it safe. I was, I've always been really outgoing. When I was little, I was like a shy Asian girl with a little bowl cut, you know. And, you know, I really came into myself, probably not until about junior high, but, you know, culturally, I was taught to play it safe, to be quiet. And so finding my voice and finding my power has been a journey. And although I know that it's always been in me, but it is a process. So no, I didn't always own my power or my voice. So.

Andrea 10:50
I think we all had that bowl cut. And again, I think we’re around the same age. And did you grow up in San Diego?

Angela 10:55
I lived in Sydney. I grew up in suburbs of Los Angeles. So right…

Andrea 10:59
Not, not far yeah, but I feel like all across the country and probably in parts of Canada, and even in Europe, that bowl cut was it.

Angela 11:07
Well, it was like bangs, right? But some foreheads aren't made for bangs, like I have a really short forehead. So some people probably had really cute bangs. Mine was just like, you know, it was an expensive, no one got their fancy haircut. My mom just trimmed it right?

Andrea 11:19
And I think Dorothy Hamill cut. People who remember who that is, what do you see is the biggest obstacle that women face when they're trying to step into that power? And I would love to know, if it's both, you know, external obstacles, and also the internal stuff. What do you see?

Angela 11:35
I mean, I definitely think it's both. So when I when I work with my clients, I talk about the external, right? How do you show up? How do you stand? How do you communicate. But the deep stuff really is, as you know, you know, it's the internal, but here's even a deeper layer. So we think it's our voices right? Our inner voices, we've talked about how to become motivated and inspirational, overcome our inner voices that are conscious. What about the subconscious ones? Now that's when you get to the deep part. So I don't want to go too deep, but it's kind of like what part of the journey are you on? Right? Some people are happy to go deep.

Andrea 12:03
Tell us tell us like if you don't mind, like yeah, what do you like? How do you get somebody to tap into those unconscious beliefs?

Angela 12:11
For someone that's just starting? It's kind of like external, right? Oh, I need to sit up straight, I need to, you know, not use my hands, I need to use my voice. That's all external. The internal is like, Oh, well, I say not so nice things to myself, right? We all have that inner voice, that inner child, something that wasn't met that, you know, we say we all have it. Now what about the stuff, so for me, I don't have an issue with that when I was younger, I had to really culturally kind of reprogram myself, right? So if my parents taught me to play it safe to not rock the boat, and then you know, my seventh-grade teacher was the first one that said, hey, you should do a speech competition. I was like, oh, okay. And then I really reprogrammed by doing, right? By doing it. And knowing that you can do it, you sort of reprogram those voices, and then you create a new voice, right? And then it goes on throughout your life. But for me, you know, I've always been super driven. And so all through my 20s, I worked my butt off to get into TV news, you know, and I became a TV news anchor and reporter So you think, oh, she's broken through all our barriers? She has none of that. Well, then I became a mom, right? And I reinvented myself, I became a mom.

Andrea 13:11
I didn't mean to burst out laughing. But just, yeah, things get turned upside down.

Angela 13:16
Right. And so if you're in the beginning of your journey, yes, it's those inner voices. But now that I've broken through all these different levels, right? I reached the top, I broke through all those barriers, you know, I believed in myself as confident. But now as a mom and an entrepreneur, I went through another transition. And now as my kids are turning into teenagers, it's like, oh, I've already worked through all that stuff, right? I'm confident I have my own business, and then you're like, whoa, right. So this is the deep part. So first, honor what what life stage you're at, and also what level you're at, in terms of how far you've stepped into your voice in your power.

And so when I say that is that I'm still evolving. It's not like you reach this point, where I've used these tools, and I've reached the top of my career, right? And then you pivot in something happens or then you're, it's done. And it doesn't mean you're not enough right now, you already have everything you need inside you to shine right now. But we continue to evolve. And as we hit those layers, and that's what I'm going deep on now is. So the unconscious ones I'm talking about, is I'm going like generationally deep. So I've broken through those barriers that yeah, great, my parents were Chinese immigrants. They worked hard. They taught me to play it safe. I worked through that by doing right getting on stage doing every time it was successful. Oh, that's great. Every time I had a failure, I learned from it okay. But now the unconscious stuff is like what Haven't we dealt with yet? Right? Or what is what if it's not ours? Right? So I've been diving deeper into intergenerational kind of trauma, and things that we don't…

Andrea 14:40
Tell us more about that. Please, please. The let's segue over there. Tell us everything will go deep.

Angela 14:45
So so I was just thinking about, you know, when last year two years ago, I did a lot of deep work on why am I still hitting that upper limit, right? Because you have to think about that as successful women, are not even successful, just empowered women. If you've done some work upon yourself, you're like, I already got this. But then you hit this block, right? As you become more successful or bigger or step into more of your power, it's kind of new territory, and you do hit an upper limit. And then you have to say, well, what what is this? I already already tackled this. And so the intergenerational stuff that I explored is last year, I did some deep work and just talking about just being a woman in society, right? Just just the container in which you're in. And so I think that's what's breaking open right now, is that we, we know there's the system thing, yeah, women have been oppressed for ages and you know, fight for power, and blah, blah, blah, but you're like, but I got it together. I'm fine. I've made it. But then you go deeper, and you're like, it's still there? Why is it still there? Right.

And so this past two years, I think we've seen that systems play a big role, doesn't mean you can't be empowered and take on things, but systems, whether it's for, you know, people of color for women, they're still there, right? So if you're strong, and the system is still there, how do you overcome that, but the unconscious stuff, so I think back so my recent podcast episode I recorded is like, how can we honor our past while still impact the future. So I was thinking back to like my grandparents, you know, like my great, great, great grandmother, in the, you know, escaped war and chase bombs, and she was like, an orphan. And then she made it over to China, and then to Taiwan. And then my, you know, had my mom and then they had four kids, like all that stuff, you know, you're like, oh, that's like, that's just the olden days. This is the olden days, you know, but you think about that, that travels through, you know, their studies. I don't know, I don't go deep into this is not my work. But you know, they say that it, you know, generational trauma carries through the DNA.

Andrea 16:16
Epigenetics.

Angela 16:19
Epigenetics, right? And I don't want to go deep into that. But it just made me think, like, what can what is mine and what is not mine? And what can I clear to the best of my ability to know that's what's not mine, right? Because we keep hitting the same roadblocks. You know, like, I've already dealt with that, like, it may not be. And so it's just too, I think it's important to recognize where we came from. And so the layer two is not just looking at us, like where you know, where we get stuck. But that next level is looking like what what could have been in our ancestors or just in our environment, or just as our society as a woman and what can we let go of that's not ours? Yeah, right. It's not ours to take on. And to clear it.

Andrea 17:19
That's amazing. I'm mildly obsessed with this topic for a few reasons. Partly because well, I don't think you know, this. So this book is dedicated first to my daughter. And second to it, you know, and like one of the first pages it says for my mother and her mother and her mother and her mother. And it's not that I think that that all of my grandmother's would approve of a lot of the things that I've culture's different generations. However, I talked about this in the book, you know, the resiliency of what these women had to face that we will never know and that we will never have to face just because of you know, living in modern times. Yes. And some families I think had it much easier than others some women were brought here against their will, some women had to go through just terrible atrocities. And that kind of resilience and trauma and also so much joy and wonderful things happened but I do believe that that gets carried down and it comes up when we're up leveling our lives and I'm also really interested in that mitochondrial DNA where you can kind of where they map out like your entire maternal line all over the world that's just fascinating to me.

Angela 18:28
I mean, all that I mean, we can go way deep on that but I think what we want to take away with is like like what is yours and what's not yours but you honor the past right? Like what I say about hardship and war and all that but I have that resilience in me. It's not just about trauma we don't want to go too deep into that trauma because you're always you're never always going to know what that is right?

Andrea 18:30
And there's nothing about doing about it either.

Angela 18:34
Yeah, it's more about honoring that like like they didn't have the opportunity to even speak. It wasn't what do you Where do you go with it right and so we have that opportunity. So we should take the positive right the resilience the strength. You know, and I talked about that you know, just like when you know, as an immigrant child I always lived in scarcity we had okay money but my parents worked really hard. And now I kind of have you know, my kids go to the hotels with us and we travel and I always remind them I go look, I didn't travel a lot when I was younger, I didn't stay in nice hotels. And I also don't want to to cap them either right? I remind them of where we came from, but you also don't want to cap so that whole scarcity issue right? I have to overcome that a lot. Like Like, you know, I love sales. I love my buyng on sale I'm still not gonna let go of that, but not a scarcity when I want something. I'm abundant enough to have it but I came from a scarcity mindset and that's how I became successful. Right? I became successful because my parents taught me to work hard, never give up, the scarcity mindset, climb to the top, overwork, but at some point that peaks and then you start as women you know, we burn out. And if you're still, you know doing things the way we were taught to do them because they work for us. So all those things that they taught me it worked for me until a certain point, and then you got to unravel and go, what can I take the positive, but move forward with something different.

Andrea 20:15
And learn how to manage what's what's yours and what's not yours to carry? Yeah, I love that takeaway.
I'm interrupting his conversation to bring you a few words from some of our sponsors. I know that each one of you listening understands that taking care of your body is crucial for living your best life. And that's why I want to tell you about a company that's helping me take better care of myself and that is Banyan Botanicals. Banyan Botanicals is an Ayurveda company that promotes health through an array of products as a great place. To start I recommend taking Banyan Botanicals online Dosha quiz. It's totally free, and in just 10 minutes, you'll receive personalized recommendations to help you feel your best. I plan on taking the quiz again in a few months because I took it several months ago and I want to see how my state of balance has changed. I have a few favorites of theirs and the Adrenal Nourish is one that I've been taking consistently. And since taking it I feel like my nervous system can finally relax y'all. You can go to Banyan Botanicals.com/Noise and click the green button at the top to take the free Dosha quiz for yourself today my listeners that's you get a promo code for 20% off your first order good site wide. Check it out at B-A-N-Y-A-NBotanicals.com/Noise. that's BanyanBotanicals.com/Noise for 20% off.

You've heard many of the guests here on the podcast who are licensed therapists. And you know I encourage everyone to go to therapy. I'm proud to have Better Help as one of our sponsors because there's so many things I love about their service. When you sign up for Better Help. They'll assess your needs and match you with your own licensed professional therapist. You'll get timely and thoughtful responses. Plus you can schedule weekly video or phone sessions. It's more affordable than traditional offline counseling and financial aid is available. They're licensed professional counselors specialize in things like depression, stress, anxiety, relationships, sleeping, trauma, anger, family conflicts, LGBT matters, grief, self-esteem, and their service is available for clients worldwide, I want you to start living a happier and more fulfilling life today. As a listener, you'll get 10% off your first month by visiting our sponsor at BetterHelp.com/kickass, join over 1 million people who have taken charge of their mental health again, that's BetterHelp H-E-L-P.com/kickass.

And thank you for supporting our sponsors because that in turn supports this show. And if you ever miss any of the keywords or the discounts, you can go to Andrea.com/sponsors and they are all there

Well talk talk to us about your career a little bit like what are some obstacles that you faced? Maybe in your 20s as you were climbing the ladder, you know, as a reporter like were there obstacles that you had to face that you look back on that you think that you did really well or didn't do? Well tell us about some of those experiences?

Angela 23:16
Yeah, well, you know, going back to the only you know, I know my podcast, The Power of the Only, I talked about this is that I've always been the only one right, the only Asian girl growing up in North American neighborhood. And I didn't have problem with that. The only at many times I've moved to small markets, I had a market in Bakersfield and in Palm Springs in smaller markets I was like the only Asian reporter. And now at big keynote events. I'm usually the only woman on a panel or the only woman keynote speaker. That doesn't bother me. Right? That's, I believe there's power in that. And so that's what I do with my podcast the power of the only I wanted to change the conversation. Yes, it's hard. I broke through a lot of barriers but I believe there's power and being the only. And that's the conversation the the mindset I want to shift with people.

And so the barriers I broke through. If anything, I kind of lived in a little bubble. I think that because I was so driven when I was younger I didn't see the system against me. I didn't see what I couldn't do. I always just like, I'm the only one so okay, let's just go for it. And I know not everyone thinks that way. And that's why I started interviewing all these women. I was like what is it about certain only’s what did we go through that allow us not to see that as a limitation, even though it's hard. Doesn't mean we didn't work hard doesn't mean we didn't have barriers. Why? What what's the difference? And I think that the challenges that we go through is our gift, right is the strength. But you ask me specific challenges for me, but I actually really look back and I go, how did I do what I did because I really think about now I was like wow. I was, you know I was reported in Los Angeles. You know the number two market in the country. And I just did right? I just, but I worked really hard and I hit roadblocks but I kind of just went Oh no. Okay, go around.

So to make it in TV news, you really had to have a real back then there was no YouTube, there was no cell phones, you had to intern for a long time ask someone for a camera. And so at night, I would just, I check out books on broadcast journalism. I got a broadcast extension degree while I was working in Hollywood. So I was working at Entertainment Tonight China, I was an assistant and I was sitting at my desk just answering phones during the whole Hollywood grind. And I loved it. I learned everything. And that night I worked on my craft. And the barriers were there was no job for me. Right? So I just had to drive, so I got one in Palm Springs, I drove every weekend to Palm Springs. So at that point, I didn't think I had inner barriers. It wasn't until I got back to Los Angeles. So I skipped over all the hard parts but I worked seven days a week drove you know, for two days a week in Palm Springs and five days a week in Hollywood because I still needed to make money and you don't make money as reporter but I got my reel and I got an anchor job in Bakersfield. And then I became the news anchor there and I worked my way back and I got back by the time I was 25. And that was a big deal for me right the hometown.

But what I talked about the inner barriers right didn't where I really got stuck is like I started I'd made it right that was end for me. I'm 25 I'm back in my hometown, I'm a news reporter, but I was still living at home actually for the first couple of months it was so funny because I had an apartment yet but the first time I realized that I even had inner barriers and started doing some personal development work is I had a voice coach and he said to me he still does being Asian or a woman affect your voice? And I said excuse me, because I've done no personal development work I succeeded out of pure drive grit and hard work not looking at anything I can do anything push push, push, push, push, and it got me to where I needed to go. But now it's like well now you're here now what do you do? And so I looked at him like what? What are you what are you talking about? Like is he being like racist? Like what did he mean? And it was the first time I realized and I took a step deeper and I went oh. And all those voices from my parents started flashing back all those things of like, you know, my parents had tried to talk me out of TV news they said Asians can't do it, your face is too flat you know they told me you could be like Connie Chung when you grow up because I always wanted to be like Connie Chang but then when it came down to this oh, it's dangerous or you're not gonna get married or you're not with all those things right? And I had blocked all that out, but it started coming back and I go oh, where am I playing small so I've worked through a lot of barriers by sheer grit but those those voices if you don't deal with them they do come back and you know specific external barriers of course navigating you know the newsroom and navigating Hollywood but I always had you know, I always had this really optimistic outlook that I could do anything without being toxic positivity and then I didn't even know what that was I was just like I thought I could do anything.

Andrea 27:44
You know that works for a little while. I will say that's a lot of people that works for a little while until it…

Angela 27:48
It works and then you start to peel it back and so he gave me that first taste of like oh where where do I get stuck? Why do I still have those voices when I anchor why do I think about that? Why do I still have that voice that says I'm not good enough I didn't even know I had them and then he made kind of crack that open. And then through the years especially after I left the news, so in the news, I was just too busy to think about it. I was just like on fire and just went yeah, toe driven. I woke up at like 4am I did the morning news. I hosted like five hour shows. I didn't have space to think.

But the first time I did personal development work was really in my 30s it kind of broke me open and started dealing with like my parents like oh, I need to honor my parents more they actually are strong I don't have to take care of them, there's a gift that they gave me not that they were a burden. I always felt my parents were a burden for immigrant children I think sometimes or not even just immigrant children but depending on how you grew up or the roles that you played, I always had to be as the older sister, I had to take on a lot and it felt like a burden and I learned really appreciate all the gifts that they gave me a no they weren't a burden they were doing the best that they could. So that was my first barrier I broke through in my 30s was honoring my past that's how I honor my past and then you know lots of other work after I became… And then when I became an entrepreneur it all came up

Andrea 29:06
Well it sounds like that's perspective work you know and just in shifting your perspective from feeling like they were a burden to you know, there's there's a whole other way of looking at this. So I love that that you kind of had that epiphany and just by its power of coaching, him asking you that question that took you off guard that you probably didn't didn't sound like you immediately had an answer to it. But when you really start to think about it, there's stuff there.

Angela 29:32
Yeah, and that was the same so long ago right now I'm done tons of work and different things. But now it's like that next level. But yeah, that was the first time I even noticed that I had an internal voice.

Andrea 29:42
Well, speaking of voices, you you know, you talk about the importance for women to own their voice. So what does that, what does that really look like for a woman whether you know, we're talking about doing the work to start that process of owning her voice or just out in the wild or both.

Angela 30:00
You know, I really think owning our voice is really being feeling comfortable to speak up with certainty. And again to take up that space. But I think it starts with taking a closer look of who are you, what do you stand for, and how do you want to show up in the world? And when people ask me to be their coach for communication, right for on camera, video and different things, we do that, you know, I set up the equipment and do all that. But then I thought, you know, it's really about I want them to be you amplified and clear. Who are you, what do you stand for, and how do you want to show up in the world, and when you know that, and you are aligned, and you are embodied, the other things fall into place. So that's a personal journey, right? Owning your voice is a personal journey, and knowing you know, where did your voices come from? Where, what what does stop you. Why? Why do you believe what you believe, right? And so that's the unraveling of the deeper work of truly owning your voice. Right? There's the external part of like, you know, doing voice exercises, how to warm up, we were talking about how to warm up for a podcast before how to sit up straight, how to look good on camera, but the deeper work is that part, right? Where did your barriers come from? What stops you in that moment? And how do you own that, right? How do you understand that awareness, and so that you can speak up with certainty because you're clear on who you are, what you stand for, and how you want to show up in the world.

Andrea 31:18
I love that I hope everybody jotted those those questions down. That's such an important foundation. And it's one of those things where everyone needs to do better who you are, what do you stand for what's important about the way you live your life. And also, I feel like that's helpful, even for women who aren't necessarily interested in being entrepreneurs, or being on camera, or, you know, filming videos, or whatever. Because social media has really changed our lives. And I would say the vast majority of people are on some platform, and that requires visibility. And whether you're just posting pictures of your fourth of July weekend, or, or you're stating your political opinion, it's, you know, there's no right or wrong way to show up on social media. But I know of a lot of women who are afraid to speak up about things, you know, whether they consider themselves a quote, unquote, activist or not, but just that fear of visibility. And I think that before, personally, before I tell somebody to go take action, or hold them accountable around it, it's exactly what you said, it's about unpacking what's going on? Like, why? What Tell me about the beliefs that you have where that's unsafe?

Angela 32:29
Yeah, you don't want to just you know, and I, and when people say speak up, you speak up in the way that honors where you are at in your journey. Not everyone needs to be an activist, not everyone needs to be bold, bold to be heard, you can share your voice in the ways that you feel comfortable in your own household, with your children, with your, with your spouse, or significant other. Like, it's when you are clear on what you want, and have your boundaries in place and are clear and have done. And for that to be deep inner work. It's just like, you know, what do I, you know, what do I believe? And why do I believe this? And how do I want to show up? And that shifts to right, I'm sure everyone's been through this whole journey. They're asking these questions of themselves right now, over this past year, and it does go deeper.

You know, I see I, integrity is like my number one value. Do what you say, say what you mean, I truly believe that. And, you know, it used to be that I don't think in my 20s I ever thought about that. I was like, okay, cool, whatever, you know, and I always like told the truth. Yeah, I always, you know, I always was honest, and was on time and told the truth. But I mean, integrity in terms of, would I not buy someone's product because I don't align with that? Would I would I make a stand and go out of my way to do something because it doesn't align with my values. I don't know that I would have done that. When I was younger, it just wasn't a priority for me. Now. It's like, if if something starts to feel uncomfortable in your system, you're like, no, I'm going to step up. So integrity is really important to me. And when I'm out of integrity, it really bothers me, like, even like, if I committed to your podcast, and something else came up, I'm like, no, I have to be for me. That's for me, that's my value. Right? So what is your value? And then then, you know, when you feel uncomfortable, what you need to do, is like staying embodied and who you are, but it takes but doesn't have to be super deep. It's just kind of a Where are you at right now? Right? And how do you want to show up?

Andrea 34:16
Yeah, I go on and on about values, I swear it comes up like every fourth podcast episode that I talk about. It’s just, it's foundational in personal development work and I feel that people don't visit that exercise enough. And and also talk about what does that look like in their life? And like you said, it doesn't need to be necessarily deep but but when something happens, you know, how do you want to show up? Tell me about it. What in a scenario or a circumstance that's really uncomfortable, what would happen for you to follow your values, and it's also interesting… So my values are like my top values are responsibility, trust and courage. And the way that you described integrity is not that all that different from mine. So it's interesting how people describe them, your name their values. Even though a lot of times we're talking about very similar things about showing up.

Angela 35:05
Well and I want to say something about that, like when I when I work for my clients and I have them show up on stage I have them pick four adjectives like what is your you amplify persona? Doesn't mean you aren't all the 50 other things, but what words have power to write. So it for your, we may be reaching for the same thing. But if integrity brings up that energy for me, that's the word I want to use for myself. When you look at a page and you think passionate. Right? To another person passionate may not resonate and powered may resonate more, it may mean the same thing to them. But when you look at that word, and you feel that word, and you show you're like, oh, yeah, right. So it's really about what resonates with you. And so words are super powerful.

Andrea 35:46
Yes, they are speaking of words, since you have so much experience in in your career, and with speaking up and we just talked about values. So I'm sure that this is maybe part of the answer. But what advice would you give for a woman who's struggling to maybe speak up at work or in another career situation?

Angela 36:04
Yeah, well, first of all, do something really tactical, like just, you know, in the moment, what you can actually do? You know, people say, oh, how do I speak up at work? You know, the first thing I want you to think about without going into the deep level stuff is just, what value can you provide in this moment? Don't get bogged down with everything, like if you're just want to speak up at a meeting, what value can you provide to the audience or to that group? It's not about you. It's not about anything. It's like, if you have something to say, something comes up and you want to say it, you're like, oh, it's already been said, and, but just just think, what value can I provide in this moment, and let the words come out? Right, whether you're on a panel for a talk, or if you're just in the boardroom, or you're at a meeting or you're interacting with people if you have that fear, right, that overrides cuz you're like, oh, what I have to say is important, and it provides value. It's not about me, it provides value.

Another thing I would say, you know, for people who get that nervous energy, you know, thing that they feel whether they're doing something big like going on a podcast or speaking on stage, or even just for some people they get that when they're just speaking to another person maybe you know, they have a little anxiety or whatever. I want you to think about not as fear like not to call that fear, its energy. Its energy because you're you want to say something big you want to do something different. It's your body generating the energy to do something, right? so it's actually working with you not like oh, there's that you know, not confidence again. Oh, that's that fear. That's that pit in my stomach. You know, words are powerful, right? What if it's the energy getting you ready to do something big or great? Or just to speak your mind. It doesn't have to be huge. Yeah. And another thing I would say is just remind yourself that you know, I've interviewed hundreds of, you know, politicians, executives, leaders in my news life, but now that I've gone deeper on my podcast, everyone struggles with imposter syndrome.

Andrea 37:52
Right? This is true, to some extent. Yeah I would agree with that.

Angela 37:56
And I don't even call it imposter syndrome. I don't even use that word because I think we all want to do better be better know that we matter that we are doing we're showing up our best and so for some people, they just call it immediately imposter syndrome because they feel like they don't belong. Or other people who have maybe they're you know, bestselling authors already or speakers. When I talk to them and it comes down to it. They still struggle with it a little bit, but the ones that have done the worst like for me, I don't call it imposter syndrome. It's just I want to do better. So how can you do better? I do the work around it, but I don't know like if I'm on something or on a show or something where I feel out of my league and I don't know, then I know that's a signal to me that I need to do some more work to make sure that I do feel ready.

So I don't think it's a bad thing it's a good signal to feel sometimes like an imposter because maybe you have some more work to do and then that helps you grow but never to make it say like oh you're horrible you don't belong.Not that kind so I don't even call it imposter syndrome I just call it everyone has that we have that feeling because we want to do better.

Andrea 38:53
Yeah, that's an interesting perspective. I like that a lot and the way and different similar thing that that I have learned to do that is helpful in that regard when I find myself you know on a panel with people who have you know, far more experience than I do around a topic and I'll feel that little bit of trepidation and sometimes intimidation, it you know, might feel differently to different people the way that they describe it. I remind myself that there is something that I am more of an expert at than all of these people on the panel. For instance, my own children's mental health, you know, even if it's something like impossible for them to know about because we all have these different we have different superpowers we have different skills we have different competencies we have you know different experiences everyone. And yes you know you may be 22 or something listening to this show and and not have as much life experience or just you know, time on this planet. But still there's something. We all have it to varying degrees and That's what I think about. And it can be helpful. So I love you know, we're just kind of putting all these different tools and people.

Angela 40:08
Yeah and you live in your zone of expertise. And you can always grow and learn more. But yeah, I think that it's important to feel that but I think when you know who you are, what you stand for, and how you want to show up in the world, you will be at peace with on that stage or with yourself, and then you don't have to fight those things, right? And know that this is my zone of genius. I don't know that. And that's okay. You know, I don't know that area that they know. And that's okay, too. You know, and if it's something you want to do, and it's tugging at you, or it makes you feel either jealous or inferior, maybe that means that you want to go in that direction. So it's kind of a signaling of maybe, maybe I'll do I'll do more work in that than I do. But if you don't want to, I let go. Theres certain things where I just like, that is not my area. Like even when I was talking about intergenerational trauma I learned from my mentors or whatever. That's not an area that I want to help people go deep into. That's not my area, I know enough to serve my purpose and how to help people and to get people. But I don't want to do a deep dive into that, because it's not my work, and that's okay. Yeah.

Andrea 41:09
Yeah. 100% that's something I learned with experience in the beginning of this career. I like many have had a few different careers. I would get asked questions, either on interviews, or I mean, one time I was I was hosting a workshop, and the conversation, like completely took a turn, and they were asking me about something that was not in my wheelhouse. And I remember feeling like I had to kind of hustle and scramble to come up with something that sounded okay. And I was stumbling around it. And then I and then they asked me, like a follow up question. And I just was really honest. And I said, I would so love to help you with this. And and I felt so afraid to say that I just felt like, oh my god, they're gonna think that, you know, why did we hire her? And she's stupid. This was a mistake. Of course, my inner critic was like, you should have an answer to everything. Yeah, I was really transparent and said, I would I would love to I can answer any question about this, this and this topic, which is what we actually came there for. Yeah. And, and it was fine. They didn't, the bottom didn't drop out.

Angela 42:07
I think when you're really clear, right? You know, I, there's times when I'll do like, pre-calls for talks. And I go, what do you need, and I go, I do this, I do that, that if you want that I you know, so and so maybe better for that I don't actually go there. But I can touch on… You know, I like to be really clear with myself and clear with others. And if you know, questions pop up on a panel. Sometimes you can add live a little bit because you know the area but you don't need to lie about it, right? You're like, oh, well, this is what I know. And that's actually something I teach in media interviews. If it's your topic, you should know it, right? You don't want to blank out on, you know what you're you're teaching but when it's something kind of out of left field, and you get random questions like how do I handle random questions, you're like, Well, here's what I do know. But that, you know, you pivot, right? You pivot out of the question, or you say, I don't know that part, so and so's better at that. Or maybe you want to talk to John, or, you know, Emily, who, who specializes in that. And I think that's okay, people just want an answer. Because you could either be a resource, you could either just tell the truth and say, I don't know what or I'll find out, you know, and I think that's all people want.

Andrea 43:06
Exactly, yes. And I found that out that day, and since then, I'm always just really honest. And I will connect them with someone who knows better exact, do exactly what you said.

Angela 43:14
But I'm like you, I do like to know a little bit about everything. So I do. I mean, that was like my news anchor days, I would just read and read. And I was like, why is that? How about that? I didn't know about that. And then I'll read like another Wikipedia article that leads to another article so I know, at least what it what they're talking about. So I think that's fine, you know, to know, context, but I don't dive deep. But yeah, I like to know everything too.

Andrea 43:34
At least be able to pronounce that. Well, let's talk about money for a minute, it can be a sticky topic for women. And I'm so glad that we are sort of changing how the conversation is and that more women are starting to invest and things like that. But it's still it's still we still have some progress to make. Can you talk to us or give the listeners advice? If they might be struggling with negotiating salaries, or if they're an entrepreneur, raising their rates, or if they're in a partnership, having a hard conversation with their partner about money. What do you what do you say to that?

Angela 44:09
Yeah, it's interesting, right, because money is it goes deep, it's tied to all that owning your voice and your power. It's really a money's just an expression of that. And it really goes back to, you know, for women in our society. We weren't, I mean, what was it? You weren't allowed to have your own bank account until like, what? 1972?

Andrea 44:27
1972. Yeah, that was the year my husband was born.

Angela 44:31
So a year before I was born, you couldn't have your own bank account.

Andrea 44:35
Without your husband or your father's permission, right?

Angela 44:39
And so if you're not married or whatever, so I didn't even know that right. So I've always been like all my money. I've always liked to make my own money, whatever, but it's there. Right? Those those thought processes are there. And so for me with money, like you know, I always came, like I said before, we talked about it, you know, as an immigrant that came from scarcity. So what's the deal, buy things on sale. I broke through that when I became an entrepreneur and I started seeing spending money on myself in terms of my personal development, making big investments, not, you know but I'd even do that right after I had the baby. My husband's like well why don't you do that I go oh it's too expensive oh wait are all you know I had to struggle with that a little bit even though because and it depends on what stage you're at. So I've always made my own money I depended on no one right and even in the news business I almost ran out of money like when I was in the small market and I had saved my account and I was like, oh my god, I invested two years and I have zero money in my account what am I going to do and then I got the job in LA. So I filled my account bank account back up and I was thinking about like property and you know, different things that I could do, but I wasn't rolling in it. I was still just surviving.

And then it's interesting so I've always been empowered with money. But then when you become an entrepreneur and then when you get married, right? And then if you get married, do we fall into those old roles? Who makes more rules? We fall into gender roles so I've always so I'm your typical poster child for empowered woman but yet I'm an Asian woman and I grew up in this society and my husband's an executive he does pretty well and so do I fall into I noticed that oh, I was falling into my the subconscious gender roles. If you ask me I wouldn't say I was unempowered and he doesn't control the money we were partners. But why wasn't I spending certain things? Why was I afraid of certain things?

And so for charging or whatever that was the process I went through as an entrepreneur is really taking a deep look at where did these money stories come from? And they come from my childhood we didn't have a lot of money, right? So I needed to deal with that and I needed to spend on myself without fear right? Spend that I deserved it and also so that spending but also asking for it, right? Raising my rates that, oh, but sometimes that does take a little bit you don't want to just have you have to have the credibility and some experience underneath you right? When I first started coaching…

Andrea 46:46
And know how to negotiate.

Angela 46:48
Yes, and so it is a learning process right? I'm not saying that just you just believe in yourself and ask for what you want.

Andrea 46:56
Just barge in the door and $20,000 raise.

Angela 47:01
Some people do and I don't think that that's what you need to do either but if you have the credibility, you've had the experience, you've done the work whether that's in corporate or you know you deserve it, then that last limit is you. Right? If you haven't done all that then maybe you do need to not you know be so like maybe you need to do more work so that you feel confident but once you've done amount it's not about is it worth more it's about you know, up here and what do you need to break through. So I'm still breaking I did break through it several years ago, but I think people need to take a good look at like, what's yours and what's not, right? Where did your money ideas come from? How did you grow up?

Also what were women just knowing that women couldn't have bank accounts and you've come such a long way but now you got to own all that in yourself. And I really think it's a constant daily thing so you know, and then it gets reinforced, right? If you raise your rates and they say yes, and then you're like, oh, I've done that you know, 100 times already it's totally valuable. It's all subjective to write if you have $100,000 salary if some people make a million dollars. While you talk to someone you know, their starting salary when I started was $25,000. And but you know, I talked to some executives now they're like oh yeah, well I got the million dollar pay demo you make a million dollars a year just in like a paycheck? It's like you keep up leveling of what you feel your system can handle so but you constantly have to uplevel.

I actually thought about this I thought the other day I was thinking about hotels are so funny. This is so funny. Luxury is a, enjoying and having pleasure and taking advantage of luxury for me is a revolutionary act in itself. And the reason I say that is because I was looking at booking hotels and when I was younger, we didn't stay in nice hotels. Right? And the fact that you can, something you can't afford is something everyone can afford you know if you make you can afford a nice night, but you're like what are you going to cut corners on? What are you going to deny yourself because that's how I was raised, right? And so I was like just having the $35 salad is like a revolutionary act. Right sometimes service and I'm not saying that you should you know, if you're struggling with money right now I don't think but I just mean that once you've become successful and you've worked really hard, why are we always shortchanging ourselves for what we ask for? Shortchanging ourselves and what we think we can afford and scarcity oh but I'll do that for others but not for me. And those are daily habits that I remind myself when I go No, I'm going to do this for myself because I can. I don't mean goes charge crazy charge your credit card I just…

Andrea 49:36
Don't have a $35 salad every meal unless you want to.

Angela 49:41
Unless you want to and it's okay but it's hard it's like a battle you know not was a battle for me like oh, but I'll just not you know, or even you know as you you keep upleveling. So wherever level you're at for you. It could be like when I was in high school, it was like going from Taco Bell to like a $10 meal right? And then it was to El Toredoes. You know, it's like, oh, wow, you know, the Olive Garden. And now I'm like, oh, Olive Garden, you know. So you keep up leveling yourself. But it's that daily reminder. So I don't know if that answers your question about money. But it's really important to take a look at what are those messages? And what can you tell, what can you up level to? And once you become successful, you have to upgrade your whole system to match it. And that's what's hard.

Andrea 50:23
I agree wholeheartedly with everything you said, yes, that doesn't answer the question. And it goes right along with what I talked about in the money chapter in my book, and really, all the chapters are full of questions, that one is probably full of the most questions, because it starts with unpacking your relationship with money, which started in childhood, whether you are conscious of it or not.

Personally, I didn't have you know, people in our circles, talk about their personal development work, and people are a bunch of my colleagues about six years ago, it was like the thing to do to unpack your money story. And people had very clear money stories, you know, whether one of my colleagues was raised by a single parent that wasn't getting any spousal support, or I have another friend who her parents were missionaries, so that she always felt like a charity case and had to have hand me downs from her neighbors. And they were very clear. Yeah, mine, not so much. And like, my parents never talked about money. We always had enough. We weren't wealthy by any stretch. We stayed at Motel Sixes when we went on vacation. So like the Grand Canyon, yeah, it wasn't fancy. But I did end up uncovering a very poignant story in my life. That happened later on in high school. And but my point is, is that, yes, you have to unpack these money stories. And I mean, you can even just, if you don't wanna read my book, you don't have to, you can just google like how to do emotional work around money, or unpacking money, stories, unraveling winning stories, that type of thing.

I so agree with what you said about the gender roles and around money. I was talking about this on another podcast episode recently. And I think for some of us, we get advice from our parents that we hear and we, we take it and we run with it. Whether it's good advice, or bad advice, and hopefully, it's good advice. And my mom gave me really great advice when I was young. And she said, don’t ever rely on a man for money, always have your own money, you know, and it was an empowering message that I heard her say, I heard her say that more than once, you know, she had an experience where she was a single mom in the 1960s. And it was really difficult for her, I did not take that advice. I didn't put that into action. Like I grew up and unconsciously expected men to rescue me and take care of me. And it was like, you know, just some internalized patriarchy for the win there. And just was waiting for my night to shut to, you know, to show up on his white horse and whisk me away and get me out of financial trouble. And, you know, always calling my dad to bail me out. And I thought, like, where did that come from? Because my parents surely didn't, yeah, teach me that. And my mom explicitly told me not to do that. And it came from our culture, you know, and I have to say, like, as cliche as this might sound but movies like Cinderella, and you know, the damsel in distress type of stories, like these tropes that we grow up hearing and, and romanticizing that, like, it makes me want to just barf. But it's the truth. And I'm embarrassed to say that, you know, as an empowered feminist now, but just, it's just where I was at.

And yeah, I still, you know, my husband and I, he is the stay-at-home parent now. And I'm the sole breadwinner. And when we made that transition, I told him ahead of time, I said, I think that we can really love the idea about it. And we can plan as much as we can ahead of time. But when this really happens, when you have your last day of work, and you're staying home, and you're starting to learn all the ins and outs of this household that I've been taking care of, I'm the only one working, we are likely gonna have some disagreements, and we need to be very transparent about what's going on. Because he and I had never up until then had a conversation about gender roles, like what did you see growing up? Like, what do you expect of me? And I had to take like my foot off the gas, and say, just tell me Whatever it is, and I promise I won't get upset. Yeah, it's hard. When you're when your husband is really honest, and say, says I unconsciously grew up thinking that the mom should take care of everything.

 

Angela 54:22
Yes, you know, and so I just need to touch upon this a little bit. So you know, as we evolve, and you know, my husband is in totally a great partner. He's empowered. He puts women in leadership positions, all that stuff, but he grew up how he grew up and he has a totally feminist hippie mom, everything right? He's like, what do you mean, I think that way, do you know how I grew up and we get in these arguments and I go, stop for a second. I go, but you still grew up and swam in the water that everyone has, you know. A’nd that's the difference that we're seeing in the last couple years before it was like, there was people that are empowered and people that aren't empowered, feminists and feminists you know, good guys and bad guys. are what And now we realize that it's not so cut and dry. Like I'm empowered. But there's things that I do that are don't align with what I think I should do. Or even my husband, he is your your great partner, he's super supportive but there's moments where I was like, Did you just say that? Or did you? Is that really what you expect? Like he's like, oh, no, I didn't mean that. I'm Oh, no, you did. You did mean that.

Andrea 55:21
Your unconscious sexism?

Angela 55:25
Yeah, I grew up and he's not sexist at all like, but he grew up the way he grew up. And we still haven't worked through that we have these debates a lot. And I go, I'm not going to a fight right now I go. And the first time I told him, my husband's white, and when we're talking about the word privilege, this was three years ago, before all the Black Lives Matter. He's like, what are you talking about, I grew up poor. And he was like, going off I go, but on paper, he went to an Ivy League school, it's fairly like successful tracked it, you know, I go on paper, you look like, he's like, what do you mean, and I go, we're not gonna have this discussion right now. And then when everything happened these last couple years, he looked at me, and he's like, I get it. But it takes a while.

Same thing now with the gender roles and like the unconscious stuff that we do in our own homes. It Right, if I wasn't married, I would always take care of myself, whatever. But what happened when I got married? Did I take my foot off the pedal, right? I take care of my, and you just have to be conscious about that I took my foot off the pedal. And I stopped working, but not because of any reason other than I was burnt out in news and I really wanted to start something on my own. And I didn't see that it was like, it was just intense for what I was making. I was like, I'm good. I want to be with the kids I'm going to have I'm going to host I'm going to speak I'm going to do all these things that aren't, you know, 24 hours a day starting at 4am or 3am in the morning. But I lost my identity and it was really hard to rebuild that. And then that's when you fall into those subconscious society things, gender roles, so wherever people are at in their journey, it's interesting, right? You can be empowered and still fall into that and have to fight through it. And yeah, it's fascinating.

Andrea 56:52
It's and I think it's a never-ending by no means I'm not gonna use the word battle but that's the first word that came up. It's a never-ending cycle, I think of growth and evolution. And in some ways, a revolution to you know, order that expensive salad or buying expensive hotel room. I remember I just want to touch on that really quick. And you were telling that story about about the fancier hotel. Because I grew up similarly, like we had we had just enough. And never, never, we didn't go on fancy vacations. It was like I said, it was like to Palm Springs, and then to the Grand Canyon, things that were kind of local. Yeah. And we stayed at like Motel Six, and they always had a playground, so I was fine. Like, I didn't know, we never say the four seasons. I didn't know any different.

Angela 57:40
We used to go to Vegas, because Vegas used to be cheap. And I think the hotels were like $35, where they had like a test where they had like the beds that like vibrate with coins.

Andrea 57:49
The mirrors on the ceiling.

Angela 57:50
And it was okay, Vegas was a cheap place back then. But it was funny. I was like I went to Vegas. They had buffets. Yeah, I remember Circus Circus and like $5 meals it’s so funny.

Andrea 57:59
Yes, we did the same thing. We had the same 80’s childhood. Yes. But I remember when I was in my very early 20s and I had made a reservation at the Hard Rock Hotel. And, and it was maybe like a $200 a night hotel, which was so much money for me at the time, it felt you know, it was the most I had ever spent on a hotel room. And something happened where I had to cancel and I wasn't getting my money back. And I was so upset. I was so mad. And I was talking to my boss about it. I worked as an assistant buyer in a buying office. And my boss said to me, I was ranting and all upset and then she's like Andrea, she's like, what if it's just money? And I was like, what? It’s $200 I'm not getting back. And she's like, you know, I'm not saying that, that they what they did is right and it's out of your control and it's just money. She said it is a renewable resource. You can make more. And I remember that advice. And I feel like it was really great advice because we put so much power into it and yes, it does have power. But I think her point was you are at choice whether to get that upset over it. You know, have you contacted them? Have you done everything you could to say what it is that you need to say to argue your point, and if you're not getting anywhere what if you just change the perspective and then it's just money. Personally that was incredibly helpful because it allowed me to to not have it holds so much power over me. And when I get really upset and nervous and anxious around money, I tell myself that I think of Sharon and I think Andrea it's just money.

Angela 59:41
It's just money and I think but we also have to be careful where people at I remember when I was struggling when I was reporter like literally budget was like can I make the rent? Can I make my car? You know I was on TV already but it was like who I'm running like I was very now once you have like, you know a nest egg or you have a home it's different right? More visionary and bigger picture. But I do remember those times of why I struggled, right? Because every penny counted, right? it counted, right? The the $200 could be like you don't make your rent.

Andrea 1:00:11
Oh, I've been in that place, right? Two babies in a brand new business. And that's, that's like…

Angela 1:00:16
You have to honor that. But what's important to recognize is when you're out of that zone, don't stay with those emotions, right? Don't go back to that place where you were about to lose your job, or you're about right, you're in that place, it's important to honor it, because there are things that you need to do and be more scarce about. But if you're not, that's the point is that when you're not in that space anymore, and we're still reliving, you know, that scarcity, that's when you got to check and go, it's just money.

Andrea 1:00:41
Mm hmm. Yeah. And I'm so glad you you made that, that nuance and talked about that. Because yes, and I've been, you know, in that place where $200 was an enormous amount of money. I remember even when $30 was an enormous amount of money, when I had two babies in a business. That was one of my things where we were, we wanted to go out and have pizza, and we couldn't, and I was like, you know what, I don't want this to ever happen to us again, like, I don't want to be in this place. And so I use that as motivation personally, to be able to, to go after my own goals. And but yes, it's so emotional. It's so emotional. And I don't know if everyone puts that much thought into it. People think just like money as money. Yeah, and have more of it. That's great. If you don't have a whole lot of it, it's not great. It's like it's so much more layered than that.

Angela 1:01:33
But also, I think it's important to celebrate our little wins. You know, I know that we're wrapping up soon. But just real quick I flashback to we talked about Motel Six is when I was reporter in Palm Springs, I had to stay in motel sixes couldn't make that much money. And I stayed out there every weekend. So I booked out like all the Motel Sixes and I'd rotate in in case there was someone following me. And I would go look at the Palm Springs, it was like the The Marriott, the desert, the big Marriott, the resort. And we would go there and go to exactly which one you're talking about. It cost us and I remember staying in the motel six, because it was the cheapest and still wasn't that cheap. I think some nights It was like $100 or something. But I'd call like, oh, we're at the, The Marriott you know. And so I remember just two years ago, three years ago, I did a keynote at this large convention. And I was the the host and the emcee of the whole event. And it was at the Desert Springs Marriott with my home. And I just remember driving by all of my flashing back to when I was, you know, had my, I was making, I don't know, like $10 an hour and you know, working seven days a week and driving by the Motel Six and trying to be who I wanted to be. And then I come back. I'm like, oh, now I'm the keynote for this whole event. Oh, that's interesting.

But to celebrate those little moments of growth, right, and not to live in the past. But to honor that. I think it brings it full circle, honor the past because that was so I had such a good time having no money and working seven days a week and it was hard and I learned stuff. And you know, it was a struggle. But then on the other side, also celebrate how far you've come and then live in that. Live in that now I can buy the $30 salad and I'm not going to not make rent, right? I can just live by, play by the pool. And then I'm not even going to book The Marriott maybe I'll book the, you know, whatever The Ritz next time, you know. And so once you get to that point, it's important to celebrate how far we've come to

Andrea 1:03:20
100% 100%. Well, I would love if you would tell everyone where they could find you. I think you're at AngelaCheeTV, is that right?

Angela 1:03:27
Yeah. So all on social all social media, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, YouTube @AngelaCheeTV and then my website is AngelaChee.com. And I'd love for you to tune into the podcast The Power of the Only, and that's on all platforms. And we're just diving deep into new conversations with leaders breaking barriers to find the odds and creating change. And it's really the place where I'm exploring different conversations. I do solo episodes on how to own your voice in your power, as well as interview top leaders. And it might be a book at some point. So tune in.

Andrea 1:03:59
I love I'm so glad you have a podcast. It's so, I mean, the more you're on audio or video, the better My dear. So I'm super glad to hear that.

Angela 1:04:08
Oh, thank you so much. It's such an honor to be here and have these these deep conversations. But yeah, I go deeper in the podcast because there's that space.

Andrea 1:04:16
We’ll put all those links in the show notes to your site, and your social media handles and all that good stuff. And listeners. Thank you so much for joining me, you know how grateful I am for your time and that you choose to spend it with me and my guests. And remember, it's our life's journey to make ourselves better humans and our lives responsibility to make the world a better place. Bye for now.

Hey, everyone, thanks again for listening to the show. And just a quick reminder that if your company needs a speaker or a trainer, I might be the right person for you. I speak and do keynotes on confidence and resilience for mixed audiences as well as do trainings on the daring way which is the methodology based on the research of Dr. Bernie brown so if you think it might be a good fit, hit me up at Support@AndreaOwen.com or head over to my speaking pagw AndreaOwen.com/Speaking.

Like this Post?
Sign up for updates!