I think like several events that happen throughout our lifetimes, the morning of June 24th, 2022 will be a day you remember where you were when you heard the news that the Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade. I was getting into a Lyft in Boulder, CO, headed to the airport when the breaking news notification popped up on my phone. I stared at it for several seconds as the Lyft driver tried to make small talk with me, my stomach roiling with the two cups of coffee I had just consumed.
I recorded a minisode where I talk about how to walk through something like this when you might be feeling fear, rage, hopelessness, and uncertainty; plus seeing people online who seem like they're handling it so much better.
Plus, I talk a little about WHY the topic of safe and legal abortion is so integral to women’s empowerment.
How to Stop Feeling Like Shit
You know how I love a good personal development book, right? I’ve compiled a list of book recommendations, as mentioned in past episodes. Check out these amazing book recommendations here. Happy reading!
You're listening to Make Some Noise Podcast episode number 463.
Welcome to Make Some Noise Podcast, your guide for strategies, tools and insight to empower yourself. I'm your host, Andrea Owen, global speaker, entrepreneur, life coach since 2007, and author of three books that have been translated into 18 languages and are available in 22 countries. Each week, I'll bring you a guest or a lesson that will help you maximize unshakable confidence, master resilience and make some noise in your life. You ready? Let's go.
Hey, everyone, welcome to another minisode. I'm so glad that you're here. I hope you're having a good summer. And I mean, there's a lot of stuff going on in the world right now as there always is, but it feels, I think, especially potent right now. So I am recording this on June 28, 2022, and I know that this is kind of late, my wonderful podcast producer went on vacation and so she needed some podcast episodes way out ahead of time. That's why you haven't heard from me sooner about this particular topic. But if you're on my email list, you know that I sent out an email a couple of weeks ago, I think it was very much around this date, June 28, end of June. And I really thought long and hard about what I wanted to say, regarding the Supreme Court decision. And there's a couple of things.
I wanted to refer to a couple of things that can happen to us as we're trying to navigate big things like this, big things that happen, that we don't feel like we have a whole lot of control over. And I apologize if it's kind of all over the place, I'm going to try to keep this, I think I can keep it to, you know, the minimal amount of time that I try to keep these minisodes to, I just appreciate you guys so much sticking with me.
One of one of the things is I am and these got sent out in the email. A couple of weeks ago, there's two images that I wanted to share with you some inspiring words, because I really felt like I was at a loss for what to say. And I didn't want to come on here and argue the point of why safe and legal abortion is necessary. And I wanted to, I mean, you can find that anywhere. Social media is rife with research, from everyone to you know, the American Academy of Pediatrics. There's just so much research that that shows how essential it is for this to be safe and legal.
So that's not what I'm gonna spend my time doing. There's a quote from John Lewis, the late Representative John Lewis, who says this. And I found this incredibly helpful. I know there's a lot of memes floating out there. But this quote I found incredibly helpful. He says, “Do not get lost in a sea of despair. Do not become bitter or hostile. Be hopeful, be optimistic. Never, ever be afraid to make some noise and get in good trouble, necessary trouble. We will find a way to make a way out of no way.” “We will find a way to make a way out of nowhere.” He says that very last sentence. And this one stuck out to me so much because when the Supreme Court handed down the decision a few days ago, I felt myself kind of in shock but not really surprised. And also dropping into that place of despair, dropping into that place of hopelessness, dropping into that place of rage. And I don't necessarily think that rage is bad. I think it's a byproduct of immense anger and fury and uncertainty and lack of control. When we stay in that place. It can be contained to be poisonous for us but I don't necessarily think it's a bad thing. And it's the hopelessness and the despair that for me personally, and I just wanted to talk about my experience for me personally can be dangerous.
And I want to stop for a moment I forgot I was going to preface this with this. Over the last handful of days, I had a similar experience to what happened during the pandemic, where like the onset of the pandemic, where I look around, and I see leaders and influencers, posting memes and even if it's just their own words, making videos about today we are angry tomorrow, we fight. And I was sort of left with this kind of like, do we? Like I don't know about y'all, but I'm going to need a minute. Need a minute to walk through these feelings because I know for me, if I try to rush through it, if I tried to… And many times, it can be sort of my MO coping mechanism that is not helpful. If I am like, okay, we need to organize, we need to figure out what we're going to do, what is all this action action action I can take. And we push all those feelings aside, that will end up bleeding out and cause an immense amount of stress on our mental health.
So I think what the solution is, there's not a real sort of like, here's the 123 formula of how you need to navigate this in regards to your emotions, in regards to your mental health, in regards to yourself care. You have to know yourself well enough to know what you need to do in terms of taking care of yourself, in terms of taking action, in terms of organizing because well, and hopefully, that is what you get here. That is how you… My hope is that you learn so much about yourself and that you pay attention to your own body's cues, to your own thoughts, to your own kind of like knee jerk reactions of how you want to act next, that you know yourself well enough to tell you don't get into those like really dark places. Because it's easy to do. Especially when it comes to moments like this that we're in right now.
I know that I fell into that place during the onset of the pandemic those first couple of weeks and it was probably one of the darkest places I've ever been. And it luckily was a short time because I had the wherewithal to tell people that I love and care about and I got on medication and I hired a new therapist. So when this happened a few days ago, as the days and hours started to progress, I found myself like with those same kind of like racing thoughts and like the sort of like gasping is the only word I can… You know, it wasn't a literal gasping it just was sort of like a oh my god, what…how is this happening? How is this happening? How is this happening when I have never known a time without Roe v Wade, and now my children, and if those of you who are parents, I have a 12 and 14 year old… I have a 12 year old daughter and a 14 year old son. It is mind boggling that now I feel like my country does not protect them.
Anyway, not gonna get too far into that. Because we talk about a whole lot of other things where I feel like this country is protecting, however, I want to stick to the topic at hand. And that is taking care of yourself when you find yourself going into those places. So in my experience, I found myself sort of like dropping and dropping and I was like, okay, this is happening. Which you know, is like the mantra that I use, when I find myself either in an despair of my inner critic, or a despair of my own mental health, I stop and say the mantra like okay, this is happening, acknowledge it, and then what do I need to do to take care of myself. And for me, it looked like talking about it with my therapist look like talking about it with my husband talking about it with my best friend people who understand. Not calling, the people that I care about and love, who I know, deep down are not going to show up for me the way that I need to be taken care of. It doesn't mean that they don't love me, it doesn't mean that they aren't trying to be helpful they are, but it's just one of those things where I've had to set boundaries with them around certain topics. So even though my heart is like I want to reach out to this particular person, I can't I can't.
So it's a matter of paying attention to my body's cues, knowing what's going on, and also it's okay to not be okay. It's okay to not be okay. I think that we can also drop into that place of I need to be better. And that's what I was getting at before where I before I took a step back. I was looking around at other leaders and and influencers talking about how you know, just… I was started to my own inner critic made up a story that they must be way better at grief. They must be way better at kind of organizing and compartmentalizing their rage. Is there something wrong with me? Am I a bad leader? Should I not be doing this? Should I not have a platform? Should I not have a podcast where I talk to people? And then again, I'm like, okay, well, that's happening, my inner critic is having words about that. And I think my guess is that there's a lot of people who are portraying one thing online and are probably deep in despair. My hope is that they are getting their help. And there probably are people who are really great at compartmentalizing. And I used to be a little bit better about that. But I've been in recovery, and like really started to feel my feelings, instead of shoving them down with way too much wine or chasing a relationship or trying to control whatever I can where I actually sit in my feelings and like, let them flow through me. I have a little bit of a harder time. I have a little bit of a harder time, bouncing back as quickly as I use steel. And the price for that the price for that bass bounce back that I used to have was extraordinary, and not in a good way. That price, I paid for it and, with addiction, with really poor mental health, with taking my shoved down feelings out on other people.
So again, I hope I'm painting the picture of what it looks like…the difference of what it can look like when you walk through what you are actually experiencing versus trying to shove it away. I hope I'm painting that decently for you. I hope this art project is, is making sense for you. And I'm going to post that that quote from John Lewis, in the email that I sent out, by the way, if you guys don't get my emails, really easy, AndreaOwen.com/free. And also PS, there is a special secret podcast playlist that you get when you sign up for that. And it's not on my regular podcast feed. And it's like a motivational, inspirational type of…there's three different podcast episodes. And anyway, I don't need to tell you more you can you can hear all about it when you when you sign up for that. AndreaOwen.com/free, and you get my emails, and I'm going to post that quote from John Lewis in there.
And I just want to end this one with this last one from Pete Alex Harris, and he just gonna say this one last thing about it. And before I before I read this, quote, my hope is that you are taking care of yourself. I know it's been a handful of weeks now that we've received this news, and maybe you've had some time to decompress, maybe you've had some time to talk to your counselor or therapist or your friends or even start organizing whatever it is that you're doing. And I'm also working on a list of places to be able to organize. And it's really going to depend state to state. As you know, for those of you that are here in the United States, it's really going to, we're going to see different things happening state to state.
But Pete Alex Harris says this. “If you don't accept that bodily autonomy is an essential unconditional liberty, it's a waste of time talking to you at all. No other liberties survive without that one more fundamental than property rights. If you don't own yourself, absolutely. You own nothing.”
And if you're still with me, and you're thinking like, what is this have to do with women's empowerment? My answer is it has everything to do with women's empowerment. It has everything to do with women's empowerment. And I can't have in my bio and write books, and when people ask me what I do for a living, and they asked me and I say I'm an author, and a podcaster and they're like, oh about what and I say women's empowerment. Like I can't keep doing that. If I'm not also fighting for this. Like this is foundational. If you all don't have ownership over your own body, then what the fuck am I doing? So that's why this is so important to me, and that's why I can't not talk about it and that's why I will continue to fight until my last breath for you and the other women that you care about, and for my daughter, and for myself.
So I love you all. I'm gonna go have a good cry. And as you might remember from How To Stop Feeling Like Shit when I was talking about it was the numbing out chapter I believe it's chapter three, being emotional, especially crying is your body's way of taking care of yourself. Expressing rage through a rage fueled playlist or exercising to get out the energy is your body's way of expressing emotions and your body's way of taking care of yourself. So please, please take care of yourself. I am thinking of all of you. And I'll be back next week with another interview. And coincidentally, next theme coming up is all about self-care. So there's that.
Also, there are transcripts to these episodes if you didn't know that and they are in the show notes. case you need them. All right, everybody. And remember, it's our life's journey to make ourselves better humans and our life's responsibility to make the world a better place. Bye for now.