I got a lot of messages after I released episode 540, all kinds– either sending me love and support, saying you relate and have been through what I’m going through, and some of you in a spot where you’re not sure if you should stay or go. 

And of course we all know how the social media algorithms work, and there’s some videos that have come across my feed in the last month or so that spoke to me and that topic and I wanted to share them with you. 

For legal reasons, these are hypothetical, and I may or may not be able to relate to these in my own life. 

I’ve included the links to each video and transcribed below. Listen in to the episode for my commentary on each one. 👀 

Video #1 is HERE.

“I think for a long time I thought if I was deeply in love with a person, that was enough. I look for three things in my loving relationships. Number one– you have to be deeply in love with who someone is as an individual. 

Number two is–  do I love the way you love me? Do I love the way you show up for me, the way you support me, the way you show me affection, the way you are my partner? 

And number three– do I love the kind of life and world you are trying to create? Because for this to work, I am going to have to create it with you.” – JP Saxe

Video #2 is HERE.

“I just ended a relationship, a 14-year relationship, at my age! You know why? After 14 years, I recognize, he doesn't love me the way I want to be loved. I just don't want to be loved like that. You see, I don't get to tell people how to love me. I get to see how they love and then choose if I want to participate. So for 14 years I was hoping, okay he's going to get it, he's going to get it, he's going to get it. and then I said, you know what? He ain't getting it. And that's okay. I don’t choose to participate in the way he loves. I have a bunch of degrees and it took me 14 years to get that. Thank God I couldn't get pregnant! so, you know you get to make that choice and look at carefully and consciously and honestly, ruthlessly what you did and how you did it so that you don't do that s*** ever again.” – Iyanla Vanzant

Video #3 is HERE.

“If you are with someone who is not aware of their emotions, someone that doesn't have emotional intelligence, awareness, or regulation… get ready because you are going to live your life in a constant state of unnecessary stress, which leads to illness, which leads to disease. And most people don't understand the seriousness of this. Because if you are constantly in a space where your partner is triggered, or angered, or responsive, or reactive, or jealous, or defensive, then what happens to you? You are getting a message very clearly and that message says: hey it's not safe for you to speak your truth because if and when you do speak your truth you are going to get a reaction. And that reaction, that energy is going to cause you to quiet down and never speak your truth. 

Get ready because after 6, 7, 10 years. your body is going to start to swell up with inflammation. Because the body is storing all of that energy that you've been afraid of letting go of. And by the way, take ownership of it because that fear is yours. No matter how deep and dark and powerful their reaction is, you can still speak your truth and yet the reality is as your body gets inflamed you start opening your body up to unnecessary illness and disease.” – Danny Morel

Video #4 is HERE.

“If there's one real piece of advice I can give you it's this: The crippling need to be understood by people who consistently show you they can barely understand themselves will handcuff you to the most awful painful people and relationships. They don't understand you. They never will. No amount of you fighting for them to see you will ever make that happen. Please, please for your own sanity, give up the fantasy of you ever being understood or seen by them and walk away. Mourn. Grieve. And then find people who will see you.” – Ana Del Castillo 

Video #5 is HERE.

“I don't care how good he is in bed, I don't care how funny he is, I don't care how good he smells. All I care about for you is that he can navigate conflict with you with kindness, grace, and good boundaries.” – Jenn Funk

And last, this quote I saw on @nakeiahomer’s Instagram profile 

“It is possible to feel bad about making a decision that is good for you” Nakeia Homer

Resources from this episode:
Buy a personalized, signed copy of my book
Video on When the Body Says No
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Follow me on TikTok

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