As I wrote several weeks back, when going after your big, badass goal, it's not time management it's CHOICE management that's so important. I always say that when we're saying “yes” to something, somewhere else we have to say “no”. We can't keep piling more and more on our plates and expect everything and ourselves to be able to keep up. Believe me, I've tried this and it always ends up the same: Me, crashing and burning, lashing out at everyone else, feeling like a failure and wanting to quit everything I love.
This book project is no different. I've had to say no to about 4 outside projects so far this year that I've been invited to do from other coaches. Coaches I admire. Coaches that normally I would jump through hoops of fire to work with and to be a part of their projects. My gremlin tells me I am cah-razy to say no. That they're going to think I'm a jerk, that I'm passing up amazing opportunities to collaborate with brilliant minds and opportunities to grow my business. And my gremlin likes to make catastrophies. She tells me all of this saying no is going to make me lose everything. But, the TRUTH, the bottom line is that if I want to finish this book before my kids finish college (which is in 2 decades), I need to start saying YES to the book. When I say yes to outside projects, I'm essentially saying no to my book.
As some of you know, I've been blogging for about 3 1/2 years now. I also started this book blog. And I'm writing the actual book. The book itself takes a lot of my creative energy. It's like having a newborn. And I love this baby so, so much. It's so exciting and important to me, I can't explain it. So, the blog is another thing I have to say no to.
And here's another thing: I've found that when I sit down to write a blog post, here's what happens: I get there by being in a half-panicked state of “Oh shit, it's been X amount of time that I've written a post. Better get on it.” And it feels like a chore. Like a job. Uninspired. Forced.
I know that none of you want to read that garbage. And I certainly don't want to write it.
So, going forward, I'll be backing off a lot on the blog. If I do post, it will be something that comes from my heart. I have some new plans that include guest posts, so stay tuned for more on that. I'll still be writing updates on the book because I love telling you all how it's going, what I'm celebrating, what I'm struggling with and the ins and outs of book writing.
And I'd like to ask you, what could you be saying no to, to be able to say yes to something else in your life? What are you doing that feels obligatory, forced, and just doesn't feel good to you? Is it really the truth that you HAVE to do it?
P.S. As of this posting, the book has 34 of 50 chapters written (although not all of them are complete)! Whoop!